Life can be filled with many joyous moments. They can lift your spirits and give you hope. Life can also be challenging and overwhelming. One thing I have learned being a parent, you are never prepared for either. Sharing the joyous moments with your children are easy! Seeing them shine and take in life, blissfully, is all any parent really could want. However those painful challenging moments, well they are so difficult to maneuver through with your child.
A while back our family went through a rough period with Cora. Everyday was a sad day for her. She was angry one minute, and then very upset the next. Parenting through this time was difficult. It doesn't matter how many books I've read, or who had solicited their advise, I was struggling. I wasn't prepared with insight or answers to help her through her hardship. Laid in front of me was a simple question from my CHD child, and I was a deer in headlights! Please understand, this isn't easy to admit. It's not pleasing to admit the fact that I fell short being there for Cora at a moment she truly needed me. None the less, I feel it important to share.
Her simple question.....Why did God make her this way? Why did she get all the issues with her heart, her learning, and her different anatomy?
At the time I was speechless. I had nothing to offer her but a hug, and a shrug of the shoulders. Unfortunately I felt like a failure. I am suppose to be the Momma who has all the answers, who can make anything better. But.....I did none of the above. Praying each night I asked God to show me the way. To quickly bless my mind so I could go back to my baby girl and give her some peace. Waiting for some sign of inspiration to share with Cora, I searched high and low. Then one afternoon as I was driving I received the help I needed!
All kinds of scripture was going through my head, some I have never even read. One in particular stuck. Overthinking, as I often do, I thought I had to have seen it somewhere before. Pushing that thought aside, I kept repeating it in my mind. I continued resighting it so I wouldn't forget. The moment I was able to look it up and read it, I knew God was giving me this verse to aide in parenting Cora. Ezekiel 36:26 states "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you."
With that verse fresh in my mind, I shared it with my daughter. I expressed that we may never truly know why God does the amazing things God does, but he has his reasons and we have to embrace them. The Bible says that He will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. The heart you were born with had its flaws and was needing repaired. That was God's way of giving you a new revived heart, and a new spirit, that has molded you into the perfect person you are right now! I can't tell you life won't continue to be hard and sometimes sad. I can tell you God only has the best for you. We may have to look a little harder sometimes to find it, but God wants you to always receive his glories.
I have no idea if any of what I shared with her sunk in, or made much sense to her. However it was a wonderful reminder to this CHD Momma who faces mental battles sometimes, and wonders some of the same things Cora does. Hopefully in time God's hand in molding Cora will show her the beauty of why she is the way she is. Perfect in God's eyes...and mine too!