This morning started like any other Monday morning. Prayer, coffee, kids, and out the door for our day's journey. Having Cora at heart camp, my day would surely run a little smoother...one less to keep focused and on track. Instead today was my Reality Check!
As I sat to read through my emails this morning, there sat an eye catching email. An email from Heart Camp! My heart skipped a beat as I opened it. As I read each and every word, out loud, the words disappeared in a tear filled well. Blinking quickly I finally could focus again. I finished my email and instantly felt a rush of emotions. I felt sorrow, worry, fear, and relief all at once.
This year I told myself I would approach Cora going to Heart Camp differently. Every year I constantly think about her and pray crazily that someone is looking out for. Someone is helping remind her of the simple things we take remembering for granted. This year I decided I'd try to look at it as my little mental vacation from the everyday care and reminding, with my dear CHD daughter. Instead I was met with a slap across my face this morning.
You see no matter where your CHD child is, you can't ever really forget that you have a child with a heart defect. Whether they are at home or at camp, they are always at risk of sickness, or cardiac arrest. This morning my heart broke when I read of a heart camper who went into cardiac arrest while at camp, just trying to be a kid! At that moment I understood, for the first time, when my Cora tells me she can't ever get away from being a heart kid....no matter what she does, or where she goes, she is faced from the moment she awakes the knowledge that her heart is fragile. I do not know who this sweet CHD child is but, I have been praying all day for them. I have been praying for all those campers who were there to witness a peer go through this. I pray the camp has staff to help these sweet children coop with what they witnessed, and possibly feel daily. I have been praying that the children are watched closely with this high heat this week. I even prayed a very guilty thank you for it not being my Cora. I am embarrassed to admit but, I was so full of sorrow for the camper and Mom who is dealing with this, but so relieved it was not Cora!
I learned so much today, all before 7:30am! I learned that it so very important to hug your children as many times a day as they'll let you...even when they are on your last nerve and you wished they'd go away for a little while! Because this morning I felt a what if!!! What if this would have been my Cora? Did I tell her I loved her? Did I show how aggravated I was by her obnoxious behavior when I dropped off for camp? Did I hug her more than once, and kiss her?
So please do me a favor! That moment when you think you just can't take another minute remind yourself........it could be worse! What if that little sweet miracle of yours wasn't there at all?
Blessings until next time!