Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Finding God's Love!

     Oh boy where do I start?  From the time I understood what love was and how complicated it was I was always very guarded.  I made sure not to get to close to it, or let it consume me.  When I met my husband I let a piece of that wall down.  I thought for the first time I was understanding, accepting, and letting love into my heart.

     Then I let Jesus into my heart and another piece of my wall broke away.  I finally felt what love was and realized I was, and had been, missing out on a lot over the years staying so guarded.  When I thought I had finally reached a pinicale moment accepting love and welcoming it into my mind, heart, and soul, I gave birth to my first daughter!

     Looking at that beautiful baby girl I felt a love completely unknown to me.  I loved her with everything I was, yet terrified at the same time.  I had already known she had a congenital heart defect in utero, and had prepared myself to be a little distant.  But hearing her cry for the first time, and then seeing her beauty......I saw God's Love right before my eyes!

    Sure it is a risk to love!  I know first hand and know I spent a lot of my youth protecting myself from it.  I can tell you I was truly missing out on so much!  With everything in life....if you don't task the risk you may never reap the reward!

    I am so glad God opened my eyes years ago!   Jesus accepted me!  Forgiving me of my foolishness, and helped make me into a better person today!  But most of all, I am so very thankful that with Christ in my heart, I have learned that a Mother's love is something magical and perfect!  I wouldn't change my daughter in anyway!  God knew what he was doing when he made and gave me my Cora! She may not be perfect to most, or meet the norm in society, BUT.......Cora is my perfect!  She makes my heart sing full of love and joy every single day!  Only now have I found God's true love!

Blessings until next time!