Wednesday, July 3, 2013

A Mom's Testimony--God's Miracles

     I recently was asked if I would write a testimony about my experiences being a CHD Momma.  Oh I have to admit I was nervous to do so. Not that I am embarrassed, more knowing I had to open up and express myself, reveal my soul.    Believe it or not my largest coping mechanism from the beginning of this journey has been not to acknowledge my emotions, keep everything in check, and bury it all.  So after praying over it this is what I came up with.

     Being faced at 19 weeks of pregnancy, my first pregnancy, that the baby you are carrying had a heart defect, was so much more than I could handle.  I kept a great front up for all but inside I was a basket case.  I cried myself to sleep and pleaded every moment I could during the day to please let this baby live.  The further I progressed in my pregnancy the more obstacles my unborn child had.  Knowing the percentage of my baby living after birth, less than 25%, I began to lose hope.  
     Delivery day came, it was a very difficult, emergency c-section with no anesthesia, day.  Our first miracle was the birth of our beautiful baby girl.  The second miracle was the doctors bringing her back to life, and the third miracle was getting to see her pretty pink skin, not blue like everyone said I'd see.  All those miracles in a matter of just a few minutes.
    Since that glorious birth day of my daughter in January 2001, I have been blessed with so many more miracles.  Four (4) open heart surgeries later, no immune system, and so much more, Cora has made it to 12 years old.  Her smile lights up a room, and her kind heartedness warms my soul.  We recently were baptized as a family, The Lord working yet another miracle. 
     Personally since being baptized God has unlocked my memory.  I had spent so long not dealing with the events of being pregnant, giving birth, and taking care of a CHD child, just burying everything was easier.  Now I have more memories of things that has happened, emotions I have never dealt with, and a better sense of the precious moments I get to have with my beautiful girl!  So when I stop and pause a moment I can only praise God for all our families miracles and know he has us in his hands!