Instead I miss her terribly! I find myself looking out at the swing set to see nothing. That sweet little smile as she swings for hours, listening to her iPod has vanished.
Now I know Heart Camp is only a week, but it started me pondering the what ifs. What if my Cora wasn't around anymore? The hole in my soul would be constant. What if our lives had to carry on without her? I don't think I could bear it. Sure she is a lot of work, but she is such a reward too. Thoughts spiraling into sorrow. Sorrow that I would even think about this. Sorrow for CHD parents who have lost their sweet CHD child(ren). I know I don't know exactly what you have gone through but my heart aches the same. All those overwhelming moments during my day are missed just a little bit.
Silly as it may sound, I find myself checking Facebook multiple times a day to see if any knew camp pictures have been posted. Just to see what her day has entailed, and to see if she may be in a picture or two.
Each year she goes to camp is a reminder. It reminds me that through all the hardships, crazy moments, ready to pull my hair out days, I love my Cora to pieces. And I wouldn't change one thing about our journey together!
Blessings Until Next Time!
Drena
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