Friday, April 11, 2014

Her Heartfelt Tears!


     That moment when you hear your daughter through the phone crying hysterically from school, because she knows something inside isn't right, and she is scared OF death!

     From a very early age Cora knew she had a "special heart".  As the years have gone by Cora has learned more and more about what her body can and can not handle.  She faces challenges daily being different, which some days are difficult on her.....but there are 5 days a year where she is her happiest.  Every summer she gets to go to heart camp!  She tells me months in advance, and months after, that this camp makes her feel normal.  She is around other kids who have faced a lot of the same obstacles in their everyday life, and those 5 days in her year she gets to bond with others like her.

     These last two years have been more difficult for Cora.  She has lost several of her heart friends and  has learned more about her severe heart defect.  She has had some heart issues and she's recently become more and more concerned about death.  We have had several eposides over the past 6 months that have resulted me getting Cora from school to be monitored more closely.  But the other day tore at my emotions, and the strong Momma I strive to be for her, shoke me to the core!

     I was at work when my cell phone rang.  On the other end of my call is this hysterical little voice, crying and pleading in between breaths for me to come now.  My heart begins to beat rapidly as I try to make sence of what is trying to be said.  Finally I get Cora to stop sobbing to tell me something(s) aren't right inside her.  She has blurry vision, tingling in her arms, unable to feel her hands and feet.  I assure her I am on my way and told her to stay in communication with the nurse and office staff and if anything felt worse they were to call an ambulance.  Once I said that my poor daughter began sobbing again pleading.  
     Fast forward to when I arrived at the school.  I didn't walk quickly like I normally do when I am called, I high heels through the parking lot, I ran!!  When I first saw my baby girl she began crying again as I did.  I stood holding her, kissing her head.  I couldn't imagine what she was emotionally going through but felt her fear.  After a few minutes we sat in the office while I examined her more closely.  She said she could feel her feet and arms again, but her vision was still blurred and hands still tingled.  As the day went on she wound up getting a migraine which made her stomach upset.  She slept most of the day as she was monitored very closely.  As evening came she was back to her normal Cora.  Everything seemed better.  We don't know what caused her issues but we have a journal that documents all occurrences, so we will make sure to discuss this one with the cardiologists!

     The next day Cora thanked me for coming to get her so quickly!  She told me that she was so afraid her heart was failing her.  She said " Mom I know I probably won't live as long as my sisters, but I am not ready to go yet."  All I could do was touch her little face, whisper a I love you, fight back my own tears, and remember God is in control!!!

Blessings until next time!

Below are pics of Cora.  
*There is a pic below of a helmet over Cora's head.  Her oxygen stats were so very low she had to wear this helmet that assisted in getting enough oxygen.  

*There is another pic below of Cora with a pad over her chest.  After her first surgery we almost lost her, so they had to do another emergency surgery.  After the second surgery they decided not to close up her chest, leaving her heart exposed and easy to access if they needed to go back in.

*My favorite pic below.......getting to take my baby girl home one month, and two open heart surgeries later!!